Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Rednecks for Walker!

Rednecks for Walker!
Farmers, Ranchers and City Folk Favor
Lora for Commissioner
Opinion and Political Commentary by Jonathan P. Glassel


The term “Redneck” originated in the Appalachian Mountains of Eastern Kentucky referring to a quiet, independent, tough and stoic breed of Mountain Men. In the tradition of Daniel Boone, when the smoke from another cabin was visible on the horizon, the Redneck moved further west.

When our fledgling nation was in danger of collapse during the Revolutionary War, a group of Rednecks known as the Green Mountain Boys came, kicked ass on the British, changed the coarse of world history and quietly went back home.

Rednecks keep to themselves and a few close friends, never stick their nose where it don’t belong, but are always the first to offer help to a neighbor in need.

My brother, Dave, who lives in Texas is a redneck. Now, Dave uses the “N Word” with a profusity that leaves his “Yankee” siblings shocked and red faced. Yet my brother would give, without hesitation, the shirt off his own back to anyone, regardless of race, color or creed that needed it.

Such is the nature of a redneck.

A redneck won’t lie to you, he won’t BS you and he won’t steal from you. He expects the same in return. A redneck despises Good Old Boy Politicians and has a long memory. If you promise less government interference, you had best deliver. If you promised to restore his rights as a landowner, you had best deliver. If you promised to hold the line on taxes, yet raised taxes your first two years in office and only opposed a tax increase as an election year ploy, don’t expect to get that redneck’s vote next time around. A redneck is not stupid.

A redneck lives frugally and hates a thief. If you squander $500 of his tax money each month to stay at swank downtown hotel to carouse with a bunch of drunken commissioners, while within driving distance of home, he will consider you a thief.

Best not to ask for his vote, next time around, Pilgrum, ‘cuz that dog ain’t gonna hunt in these here parts.

Rednecks don’t like government boondoggles or new taxes. A redneck lives within his means and expects government to do the same. If a redneck needs to do “something” but lacks the money, he does something else and expects government to do the same.

A redneck knows we can’t afford to jail everybody, so his redneck logic says, “maybe we should jail the drug dealers” that seek to harm our kids, not jail our kids for underage drinking.

After living for many years in Texas, two things struck me as odd when I returned to Minnesota. I did not recall Possums and Rednecks existing in the Chisago of my youth, yet both were here in great abundance. At first I mused that the redneck surely followed his food supply North, but in time I came to realize, we have always been here. Rednecks that is.

When the future of our county is at stake, we will rise to the occasion as did the Green Mountains Boys, elect competent leadership, dump the Good Old Boys and quietly go back home.

This time we will dump Lynn Schultz, elect Lora Walker and return integrity and honesty to the County Board.

Vote Lora Walker for County Commissioner