Is Todd Rivard on the Right Side of the Bars?

Is Todd Rivard on the Right Side of the Bars?
Questionable Relationship with Commissioner Robinson, Missing Records, Damage Sheriff’s Credibility
Opinion and Political Commentary by Jonathan P. Glassel

Generally speaking, many folks refer to our elected officials as “the crooks in Washington” or the “crooks at the Legislature” right down to the “crooks on the Board or the Village Council.”

What is it about power that turns so many good people bad?

Certainly power corrupts, but imagine, if you will, that it is your job to sit in a room full of cabinets. These cabinets surround you. They are everywhere. You cannot turn a corner without being confronted by a cabinet filled with drawers and each of these drawers is filled with cold, hard cash.

Imagine yourself as a young soldier during the Iraqi Invasion and stepping into one of Saddam’s hidden stores of cash. Millions of US Dollars just sitting there and no one watching.

Could you withstand that temptation? Totally unsupervised in a room full of cash?

That is the life of a Public Official. Never ending, unsupervised temptation.

This knowledge was not lost to our forefathers. Yet Washington, Jefferson and Franklin understood the futility of watch dogging an army of government employees, all with the potential to be tempted.

Instead, our founding fathers freed the press, the media to be our country’s first line of defense against the temptation of Public Officials.

An independent press is the best friend of any honest politician. An open and forthcoming relationship with an investigative news organization reduces the risk of temptation.

Chisago County has not had an investigative news organization, until now.

The Epitaph has developed a solid and open working relationship with The Chisago County Board members, Ben Montzka, Rick Green, George McMahon and Lora Walker.

It can be naturally, assumed, therefore, that those public officials unwilling to work with an inquisitive media may be hiding something.

A conspiracy is defined as “a secret agreement between two or more people to perform an unlawful act. An agreement to perform together an illegal, wrongful, or subversive act. An agreement between two or more persons to commit a crime or accomplish a legal purpose through illegal action.”

Consequently, a Conspiracy Theory can easily be advanced by linking known facts with a common denominator. Should the common denominators seek to suppress and harass the investigative reporter, while refusing interviews, more credence is given to the Conspiracy Theory.

In July, 2006 Chisago County Commissioner Michael Dean Robinson, Date of Birth 11/17/54 inexplicably stopped driving his car to events to which he normally drives. This odd behavior lasted for a period of 2-3 weeks. Just as inexplicably, Robinson started driving again.

According to the Forest Lake Police, Chisago County Commissioner Mike Robinson accosted former (at that time) County Commissioner Lora Walker at Cub Foods in Forest Lake.

Forest Lake Police report dated November 20, 2007 indicates Commissioner Robinson threatened to physically harm Walker and her family. Bare in mind that Walker lives near Stacy and stopped at Cub to shop for Thanksgiving Dinner on her way home from work in Minneapolis.

Robinson lives in Rush City and was not likely looking to buy a turkey in Forest Lake.

According to sources close to the Walker Family, Robinson then followed Walker home, a distance of some 15 miles or so and parked at the end of her driveway for quite some time. Over the next several weeks Robinson was observed by neighbors stalking Walker’s residence. Chisago County 911 was called, Sheriff Rivard was summoned, to no avail. According to Chisago County Sheriff Todd Rivard, no records or transcripts of the Lora Walker 911 call exist, nor do any routine Sheriff’s Department records of the disturbance.

The above events lead to the following questions and subsequent speculation about Conspiracy Theories.

A usually reliable source indicates that Curt Flug, Lindstrom Council Member and former Chisago County District Three Commissioner Candidate, had a conversation with Robinson concerning Robinson’ apparent inability to drive.

Reportedly, Robinson told Flug, in effect, that he would rather not discuss the matter, but that he (Robinson) had quit drinking.

When asked about Robinson’s actions and a possible drunken driving infraction by Robinson, an admitted alcoholic, Chisago County Sheriff Todd Rivard replied after 30 seconds or so of hesitation, “No, no, I would have heard something.”

The Epitaph has asked Commissioner Robinson about the DUI question. Only to be met with threats of lawsuits and further harassment by the Sheriff’s Department.

Speculation has long centered around a potential cover up, therefore conspiracy by a Judge, an arresting officer, Sheriff Todd Rivard and County Commissioner Mike Robinson. It is possible, however, assuming a DUI infraction does exit, that Robinson and Rivard are the only co-conspirators.

It was assumed that only a Judge could prevent Robinson from driving. However, Rivard has been around Chisago County for a long time and probably remembers the old days when Cops were allowed to be judge, jury and executioner. A cop would often hold a kid’s license for a couple of weeks and hold the infraction over his head if the kid promised to be good.

Why would Rivard do this for Chisago County Commissioner Mike Robinson?

Rivard has long wanted a new jail. Having a Commissioner by the testicles couldn’t hurt, could it? Perhaps, Murphy’s Law applies to Law enforcement, as well. If it can go wrong, it will go wrong. Robinson has many enemies. Enemies who noted that Robinson was not driving for 2-3 weeks in the summer of 2006 and subsequently raised the issue to the news media.

The Walker Harassment by Robinson is more troubling as it indicates an escalation of violence on Robinson’s part. A year and several months after the non-driving incident, Robinson knows he now has Rivard by the testicles and knows Rivard will cover up his illegal activities.

For unknown reasons, the stakes seem to be higher for Rivard as he pushes for a new jail. Lora Walker could logically be expected to run against Robinson’s crony, Chisago County Commissioner Lynn Schultz as Schultz’s margin of victory against Walker was a mere 132 votes in 2004.

Robinson’s harassment of Walker was, presumably, to dispense with Chisago County Commissioner Lynn Schultz’s 2008 election year competition.

One can then surmise the stakes become exponentially higher for Rivard as well. If elected, Walker would be the “swing vote” on the new jail. Rivard’s dismissal and subsequent cover up of the harassment incident has not likely endeared Rivard to Walker. A Walker victory in the 2008 election would kill Rivard’s new jail.

Robinson’s “Nazi like” tactics did not work as Walker regained her seat on the County Board by about 500 votes.

It is statistically improbable that Robinson, from Rush City and Walker from Stacy would randomly meet in a Cub Foods store in Forest Lake. So how would Robinson have known Walker would be there at a given time?

Is it possible that Rivard, now in the affair so deep, could monitor Walker’s cell phone conversation, learn of Walker’s stop at Cub and dispatch Robinson on his Satanic mission?

Monitoring cell phone conversations is not illegal. Using information gained from the intercepted call to intimidate an opponent is blatantly Un American and violates all that we stand for in this Country.

It is time for Rivard to meet the press. It is time for Chisago County Sheriff Todd Rivard to open his Police State to an independent special prosecutor for the sole purpose of uncovering the truth in these matters.

The women of Chisago County would like to know if Todd Rivard will offer protection to them from stalkers or if he only refuses to protect female political enemies.

Inside sources reveal, Rivard will provide a uniformed officer, ostensibly to protect members of the board from Commissioner Robinson at each County Board Meeting.

Perhaps, the real question is this: Have these officers sworn allegiance to uphold the law or have they sworn loyalty to Todd Rivard and Mike Robinson?

Sig Heil! Sheriff Rivard.

We would like Chisago County Sheriff Todd Rivard to provide the following information:

Names of all Officers patrolling the Chisago County Area upon dates upon which Commissioner Robinson could have been ticketed from June 1, 2006 until July 30, 2006 and make these officers availble to provide sworn statements to the Epitaph.

Names of all female employees working the “911” call center on November 20th and 21st of 2007 and making said employees available to provide sworn statements to the Epitaph.

Open and honest responses from the Sheriff’s Department could save Todd Rivard’s career.

We hope that those who work for Chisago County and have knowledge or information regarding these matters will come forward in the name of justice.

As Rivard may monitor my cell phone, it is best to contact me by email. jglassel@yahoo.com

Commissioner Ben Montzka Takes Charge

Montzka Takes Charge
Many Challenges, Opportunities Confront New Board
Opinion and Political Commentary by Jonathan P. Glassel

It has been a “Coon’s Age” since Ben Montzka last held the “Chair” of the County Board.

The Chairperson of the County Board is the single most powerful individual in County Politics. The County President, as it were, setting the agenda for discussion of Board Members.

Traditionally, the County Board Chair would rotate between sitting Board Members. This allowed each district equal agenda setting authority over a period of five years.

Lynn Schultz’s election in 2004 ended the status quo. From that point forward, Good Old Boy Politicians Mike Robinson, Bob Gustafson and Good Old Broad, Lynn Schultz have held the Chair, limiting Commissioner Montzka to a dissenting minority.

Former Commissioner Gustafson once swore a “Holy Oath” that Ben Montzka would never again hold the reigns of power in Chisago County. Ironically, it was Gustafson’s “Patsy,” Chairperson Schultz and her ill fated gamble to push crony Sheriff Rivard’s new Jail during an election year recession, that cost both of them their jobs.

“Commissioner Montzka, you have been too long absent from the Chair. Your service to the community as a dissenting voice of reason on a dysfunctional board, though little noted, is greatly appreciated by a grateful County. Welcome Back.”


Commissioner Greene Remains Vice Chair

Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely.

When Commissioner Greene spoke a dissenting opinion against the new jail, Rivard’s Jailhouse cronies, Commissioners Robinson, Gustafson and Schultz summarily cut off road and bridge funds to Rick’s district in an vain attempt to coerce support for the ill fated jail project.

No doubt, the “Axis of Incompetence” failed to recognize the size of Commissioner Greene’s testicles.

Rick’s wife, Randi threw her support behind Lora Walker and was instrumental in achieving Shultz’s ultimate defeat.

“Walk softly, speak softly and carry a big frickin’ stick.”

When it comes down to the “nut cutting,” Commissioner Rick Greene is a proven leader who will do what is right for his constituents and Chisago County.

If you work for Chisago County and you still get a paycheck, get in line and go thank Commissioner Greene.

When Sheriff Todd Rivard and his Jail House cronies sought to eliminate your job to pay for his Police State, Rick did the right thing, despite retaliation from the ruling troika.

“Commissioner Greene, your courage and candor on the Jail issue saved many rank and file County jobs. Jobs that serve the greater good of the vast majority of the residents of Chisago County, as opposed to those who profit from Todd Rivard’s Police State.”

Commissioner Mike Robinson is a Moot Point

As a founding member of the “Axis of Incompetence,” Robinson felt invincible, above the law. With the defeat of cronies Gustafson and Schultz, sole survivor Robinson has rendered himself impotent.

In his demented and delusional state, Mike sees himself as a knight in shining armor, coming to the defense of damsel in distress, Lynn Schultz.

In this regard, and to maintain the ruling coalition, Robinson set out to intimidate former Commissioner Walker, using terror as a weapon, in a blatant attempt to eliminate Commissioner Schultz’s most viable opposition in the 2008 election.

Robinson underestimated Walker’s grit, guts and determination.

Robinson has alienated (pissed off) Commissioners Montzka, Greene and Walker.

His only chance to regain any smidgen of power is to form an alliance with Commissioner McMahon, and George has way too much class to align himself with the likes of Robinson.

Look for Robinson to sit in the corner, playing with himself, for the next four years.

Commissioner McMahon Brings Professionalism to the Board

In stark contrast to defeated Commissioner Bob Gustafson, George McMahon is in it for the people of Chisago County, not his own personal self interest.

McMahon’s businesslike approach to County problems is refreshing, indeed.

Commissioner McMahon has inherited most of Gustafson’s Committee assignments, much to the chagrin of Robinson, as a Commissioner’s power base is often built through his committee assignments.

Gustafson’s manipulation of his Committee power base kept him in power for many years. A fact well know to Robinson.

Though Robinson never squawked about Gustafson’s preponderance of committee assignments, he is quick to point out that McMahon has too many.

However, McMahon’s primary goal is a non dysfunctional County Board, that will better serve the needs of the people of Chisago County.

In that regard, he has proposed a “retreat” of sorts, a team building exercise that will help Commissioners tackle the grave problems facing our county.

Commissioner McMahon understands that disagreement is not dysfunction. Disagreement is a big part of problem resolution. Debate is a requirement of good government.

Dysfunction happens after the disagreement. When retaliations are levied, when alliances are formed to punish the dissenters.

George McMahon knows and understands the making of good government. Look for a non dysfunctional board, if George has any say in the matter.

We are indeed fortunate that Commissioner McMahon chose to invest his time and treasure to become our Commissioner.

“Commissioner McMahon, Welcome”

Commissioner Walker Brings Courage,

Integrity and Honesty to the Board

Commissioner Walker has been sorely missed. Lora’s untimely defeat at the hands of Lynn Schultz in 2004 resulted in a board filled with dysfunction and darkness.

Commissioner Walker withstood “Nazi like” intimidation at the hands of Mike Robinson. A trauma so severe, Lora was hospitalized for nearly a week.

Mike Robinson is an intimidating man. His size, stature and mental defects would scare most of us shitless.

Robinson, presumably to dispense with crony Lynn Schultz election year competition, accosted Ms. Walker at Cub Foods in Forest Lake.

Forest Lake Police report dated November 20, 2007 indicates Commissioner Robinson threatened to physically harm Walker and her family.

Keeping in mind that Walker lives near Stacy and stopped at Cub to shop for Thanksgiving Dinner on her way home from work.

Robinson lives in Rush City and was not likely buying a turkey.

Robinson then followed Walker home, a distance of some 15 miles or so and parked at the end of her driveway for quite some time.

Sheriff Rivard was summoned, to no avail. You see, Todd Rivard needs your tax dollars and help from criminals like Mike Robinson to complete his Police State.

From personal experience, I can tell you how it feels to be scared shitless by Robinson and Rivard. They are an intimidating pair.

In my experience of August 18, 2008 at a forum of Commissioner Candidates, former Commissioner Schultz was a willing accomplice to the “Nazi tactics” used by Robinson and Rivard.

I suspect Schultz was a willing conspirator and participant in the Walker intimidation, as well.

Imagine, if you will sitting across the table from a madman. Imagine, if you will leaving the Chisago County Board Meeting, alone, after dark, being followed to your car by that very same madman. Imagine, if you will the tremendous intestinal fortitude of Chisago County Commissioner Lora Walker.

Hopefully, Robinson crony Chisago County Attorney Janet Reiter will allow other members of the Board to escort Lora to her car after each meeting without declaring a violation of the open meeting law.

Don't expect Sheriff Rivard to protect Walker from Robinson. He has failed to do so in the past. Hopefully, the citizenry will take the law into their own hands, attend these public meetings and escort Chisago County Commissioner Lora Walker to her car.

When goodness and light are removed, the resultant vacuum will draw only darkness and deceit.

“Commissioner Walker, Welcome back.”

The Sheriff of Toddingham

The Lone Recycler, The Lost Episodes

The Sheriff of Toddingham

Story by Uncle Lars Bob

The days were dark in South County. The writers strike had left the comics out of work. But just when South County thought it would never laugh again, a hero arose to recycle those old jokes and puns. Yes, with 10,000 comedians out of work, Uncle Lars Bob was trying to be funny.

Indeed, in the days of the Lone Recycler, all the King’s men were Master Baiters. The Sheriff of Toddingham and his goon, Occifer Ogre were Master Baiters as was the Duke of Rum.

In those days, South County hath many lakes. And those lakes hath many fishes. The peasants (taxpayers) of South County being duly concerned about fish overpopulation did construct tiny houses on the frozen lakes.

Upon drilling holes through the ice, the peasants lureth the over breeding little menaces to the ice hole by placing a frozen worm on the end of a hook.

The thought of handling this worm was distasteful, so many hireth the services of professional baiters. The baiters procedeth from ice house to ice house baiting hooks for the peasants (taxpayers).

On both days of summer, the baiters would go from boat to boat and Master Bait.

For many generations, the females of South County were not allowed to Master Bait. The thought of females touching that nasty worm was uncomfortable for many and for years the King forbade female Master Baiting.

In time attitudes changed and many asked the question, “If females can be doctors and lawyers, they should be allowed to Master Bait.”

The Patsy of Charles, after an apprenticeship of nearly twenty years became the first female Master Baiter in South County and the King did replaceth Texas Ranger with a Master Baiter, the Patsy of Charles.

But of all the Master Baiters in all the land, The Duke of Rum, was the most proficient.

Now, boys and girls, most people knoweth not that The Duke of Rum was raised by the Indigenous Peoples (Native Americans) of South County.

The Duke of Rum had spent most of his life in a quandry... He felt different yet... couldn't figure why... he was just so depressed. The Duke of Rum went to the Chief for answers... He asked the chief how his brother Red Deer Running had gotten his name...

The chief answered in his typically poetic way..."When Red Deer Running was born, at the moment of his birth, the first thing his mother saw was a beautiful deer running off into the forest... and so Running Deer was named.

It is the custom of our tribe to name the offspring according to the spirits in nature visiting upon the birth."

Then, the boy said to the Chief... And how did my sister "Thundering Bird" get her name?

The chief described again, how at the moment of her birth Thundering Bird's mother had heard a roar of thunder and looking up, saw a bird flying in the sky...

The boy asked again, how his cousin "White Crouching Bear" had been given such a name...

And the chief, looking down once more at the boy, explaining the traditions of their tribe.... White Bear's mother had seen a rare white bear crouched over a stream at the moment her baby's birth.

Then the Chief speaketh to The Duke of Rum, "Why dost thou ask, Two Dogs Humping?"


In those days, in the Village of Strom did dwelleth Pudd, the village idiot. Pudd was long and lean and wore a pink dunce helmet which turneth blue when Pudd was wet or cold.

The Duke of Rum was a bully, perhaps stemming from his time with the Indians and The Duke of Rum did poundeth Pudd.

The Duke of Rum poundeth Pudd in the park. The Duke of Rum pounded Pudd by the lake. The Duke of Rum even took Pudd home and poundeth Pudd in his bathroom and poundeth Pudd in his bedroom.

Indeed, every time The Duke of Rum saw Pudd, Pudd would get pounded.

And the peasants (taxpayers) would ask The Duke of Rum, “Why dost thou pound Pudd day and night?”

And Duke of Rum would say, “One day I will take a spouse. I am practicing the marital arts of Kung Fu, Tae Kwon Doe and Ju Jitsui to prepare myself for marriage.”

And the King was very proud of The Duke of Rum and The Duke of Rum did Master Bait for the King.

And the King saw that The Duke of Rum was the best of his Master Baiters.

And it came to pass that in the third year of our hero’s exile in the Land of Favre, that a mighty battle did ensue and the Earl of George did defeat evil King Gustaf and Texas Ranger did smite the Patsy of Charles, but the Barrister of Integrity bade Texas Ranger to spare the silver bullet and Texas Ranger driveth not the stake into the heart of that vile wench.

And the peasants were sore afraid that the Patsy would arise from the dead to taxeth the piss out of them, once more.

“For the King is dead,” sayeth the Barrister of Integrity, “Let us build a great round table, where men and women of peace will come to tell tales of great glory in service to the people. No longer shall the Great Hall of Royal Buttock Kissing be for the King and his cronies, let all people know that freedom from butt kissing hath returned to South County.”

But the Duke of Rum conspired with the evil Sheriff of Toddingham that tyranny and evil would one day return to South County. And when all came to the Great Hall, The Duke of Rum vowed to pound Pudd in the corner until the Patsy returned.

And the Sheriff of Toddingham was sore depressed, for all the other Sheriffs in neighboring lands had new jails and the King had promised Toddingham his own jail. But the King and the Patsy were gone.

And the Sheriff longed for simpler days when he was just a patrol cop.

The Barrister Prodi of Jewel, was driving home over the St. Croix Bridge after spending a great day out on the lake fishing. Her catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger side floor. She was late getting home and was speeding. Wouldn’t you know, a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, motioned her to the side of the bridge.

The Barrister, Prodi of Jewel pulled over like a good citizen. The Sheriff of Toddingham walked up to the window and said, “You know how fast you were going, Lady, not recognizing the Barrister?”

Prodi thought for a second and said, “Uhh, 60?”

“67 mph, Lady! 67 mph in a 55 zone!” said the Sheriff.

“But if you already knew officer,” replied Prodi, “Why did you ask me?”

Fuming over Prodi’s answer, the Sheriff growled, in his normal sarcastic fashion, “That’s speeding, and you’re getting a ticket and a fine!”

The cop took a good close look at Prodi, in her stained fishing attire and said, “You don’t even look like you have a job! Why, I’ve never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!”

Prodi answered, “I’ve got a job! I have a good, well-paying job!”

Toddingham leaned in the window, smelling Prodi’s fish catch, said, “What kind of a job would a bum like you have?”

“I’m a rectum stretcher!” she replied.

“What you say, Lady?” asked the Sheriff.

“I’m a rectum stretcher!”

The cop, scratching his head, asked, “What does a rectum stretcher do?”

Prodi explained, “People call me up and say they need to be stretched, so I go over to their house. I start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, and then one whole hand, then two. Then I slowly pull them farther and farther apart until it’s a full six feet across.”

Toddingham, absorbed with these bizarre images in his mind, asked, “What the hell do you do with a six foot asshole?”

The Barrister nonchalantly answered, “You give it a radar gun, a badge and stick it at the end of a bridge!”

The Fine Print

As you may have guessed, The Lone Recycler is a work of fiction. Any resemblence to persons alive or dead is purley co-incedental.