County at Crossroads--Part One

Chisago County, At The Crossroads—Part One

Glassel-Solid Leadership for Tough Times

County Board Goes Back to the “Well” One Too Many Times!

For many of our friends and neighbors in Chisago County, the well has run dry.

$4.00 per gallon gasoline has stretched family budgets to the breaking point. Many young families are leaving the good life in Chisago and returning to the city, unable to absorb the double whammy of high commuting costs and the runaway taxing and spending of the current Board.

If we allow the current Board to “drive away” our young people through over taxation, those remaining will bear the burden of today’s reckless spending.

Truly “Sustainable Communities” begin with jobs at home. This fact is totally lost on the current Board whose allegiance lies with the elite. The elite of Chisago County have long seen our community as residential and have openly discouraged local business.

Well and good, perhaps, when gas was $2.00 a gallon. Now that gas has topped $4.00 and is headed toward $5.00, we need local business to employ at least one spouse in every young family, saving the long, tedious and expensive commute to the Twin Cities.

We can build a stronger and better community. We have a unique opportunity to change the future of Chisago County for the better, without increasing taxes.

Commissioners Gustafson, Robinson and Schultz are up for reelection.

Chisago County deserves better representation than Gustafson, Robinson and Schultz have provided.

Commissioners who will work for the community at large, the people of Chisago County rather than their own personal interests and the special interests of the elite.

Get involved in this election, your future depends upon it. Force your candidate to take the “No Levy Increase” Pledge. Support those candidates who will think “outside the box” to build a better community without raising taxes.

You can help us spread the word. Please refer your friends to this website. If you can help with printing and mailing costs of this newspaper, we can get our message to all in Chisago County.

Please send what you can to South County Epitaph, P.O. Box 328, Chisago County, MN 55013.

You can do something about it!
Vote Glassel for Commissioner!

While-U-Wait Lawnmower Repair

While-U-Wait Lawnmower Repair

While-U-Wait Lawn Mower Repair

Pick Up and Delivery is available in Shafer, Center City,Lindstrom, Chisago City, Wyoming, Forest Lake, North Branch, Stacy, Hugo, White Bear Lake, Stillwater, Somerset, Hudson, Twin Cities, Centerville, Lino Lakes, Mahtomedi, St. Paul, North Metro, Minneapolis, MN, Minnesota
East Farmington, Osceola, WI,

**Free Recycling of Outdoor Power Equipment**

Hi, my name is Jonathan P. Glassel. Just a guess, but I am probably the only candidate running for Chisago County Commissioner that can repair your lawnmower. If that lawnmower won't run, please consider repair before replacement.

A new lawnmower requires a barrel or more of oil and the resultant production of greenhouse gases in its manufacture. The typical lawnmower repair requires about a trillioneth of a barrel of oil for the small plastic parts that need replacing.

Repair and purchase of used equipment places little demand on the world's already scarce resources and lowers demand on oil reserves while reducing greenhouse gases.
Riding Lawnmower Repair

The cost for typical walk behind repair includes tune-up, oil change and blade sharpening for about $50 on Briggs & Stratton "Sprint" Engines, $60 on most Tecumseh engines and $70 on Briggs Quattro engines.

We always quote a price in advance and stick to it. We never charge for an estimate or disassembly for inspection. If your equipment is not worth repair, we will recycle it for you at no charge, if you wish.

We also repair riders, in many cases with used parts to keep costs reasonable. We have used engines, transmissions and complete mower decks.

Used Lawn Mowers for Sale--$40 to $100, Rider $200 & Up.
Used Engines 8 HP to 20 HP Briggs, Kohler, Tecumseh
Used lawnmower parts
Free Pickup of Your Scrap Metals
Call 612-272-9535
Open 7 Days a Week
Vote Glassel for County Commissioner

County Attorney Dumps Dems

County Attorney Dumps Democrats

“Born Again” Reiter Joins GOP
Story by Uncle Lars Bob

We are reporting live from the Chisago County Republican Convention. This year’s event is at a secret location southwest of Almelund.

Security is tight. All members of the local media have been blindfolded since leaving Lindstrom. Also invited to this year’s event are Matt and Denise.

Joining us at the media suite is County Attorney Janet Reiter who has just announced to this stunned crowd of GOP Elitists, her decision to “invoke Republicanism.” Janet’s entourage includes Assistant County Attorneys Beth, Jessica and Kristine.

Commissioner Mike Robinson has just delivered the keynote address and has bored this crowd into a zombie like state. They’re chanting something, we can’t quite make it out from here. Matt, can you tell us what they are saying.

Ok, I see, it’s the Chisago County Republican Platform. Matt, we can’t hear it from here, Tell me what they’re saying…………………….

All Hail Elephant Terd, Oh, Ok, sorry folks that’s All Hail Elephant Herd………………Recyclers are Morons……..Global Warming is a myth perpetuated by the pansy assed, left wing, liberal news media……….Death to Recyclers…………………All Hail Elephant Terd, excuse me, I mean Elephant, Herd………….Must…………. Squander………….. Earth’s……………………. Resources……… Depriving future generations of resources will make them stronger………All Hail Elephant Terd……………

So there you have it folks. You heard it here first. Quite the agenda.

The Local Republican Elitists are wearing elegantly designed robes made from the finest white sheets, their heads adorned with white dunce caps and cute little elephant snouts. Identities of the faithful are kept secret.

Yes, yes now we can hear the chant as a procession of Republicans pass by our booth on their way to light their ceremonial torches……………………. All Hail Elephant Herd………………Recyclers are Morons……..Global Warming is a myth perpetuated by the pansy assed, left wing, liberal news media……….Death to Recyclers…………………All Hail Elephant Terd, excuse me, I mean Elephant Herd………….………… Must………. Squander……….. Earth’s………….. Resources……………..., Depriving future generations of resources will make them stronger…………All Hail Elephant Terd……………

The Republicans will now crucify an effigy of Jeremy Kalin before burning the cross.

What…………………………? Matt did you say the real Jeremy Kalin is getting crucified.

Yes, Ladies and Gentleman, we are witnessing the live crucifixion of Jeremy Kalin. Elephant Terd has just driven the first spike. Ooooooooh, that’s gotta hurt. But what a treat for this loyal crowd of Republican Elitists.

Commissioner Gustafson has just driven the second spike while Commissioners Robinson and Schultz, in a show of unity, jointly nail Jeremy’s feet to the cross.

But back to the big news of the day. Janet, what prompted your decision to switch parties?

It was the money, Lars. I sold out for the money. Even before I took the Oath of Office, Robert, The Right Reverend Gustafson upped my salary by seven grand a year.

Look, I know a lot of folks were expecting me to clean up the corruption and cronyism of the County Board, but hell, how can you prosecute a guy that has just given you and extra 28 grand of the taxpayers money over your four year term.

But I tell you this, Lars, when Robert, The Right Reverend Gustafson cut me in for a piece of his softball action, I saw the light. Halleluiah, Praise the Lord. I was born again. I sit next to the Right Reverend at church every Sunday. I help him teach his Sunday School class.

When the collection plate comes around, Bob takes the twenty’s and I get the ten’s.

Then the judges started giving me stock tips. I tell you this Lars, when I leave office, I’m gonna be one rich bitch.

Now, I got just one word for those dumb asses that supported me at the election.

Suuccccckkkkeeeeeeerrrrr.

You Democrats want me back. Just show me the money. Show me the money.

And as the dying embers of the burning cross light the evening sky, we are again blindfolded and return to Lindstrom. Only true Republicans are invited to stay for the weeny and marshmallow roast.

Next week we are reporting live from Robert, The Right Reverend’s Sunday School Class.

County at the Crossroad--Part One

Glassel-Solid Leadership for Tough Times

County Board Goes Back to the “Well” One Too Many Times!

For many of our friends and neighbors in Chisago County, the well has run dry.

$4.00 per gallon gasoline has stretched family budgets to the breaking point. Many young families are leaving the good life in Chisago and returning to the city, unable to absorb the double whammy of high commuting costs and the runaway taxing and spending of the current Board.

If we allow the current Board to “drive away” our young people through over taxation, those remaining will bear the burden of today’s reckless spending.

Truly “Sustainable Communities” begin with jobs at home. This fact is totally lost on the current Board whose allegiance lies with the elite. The elite of Chisago County have long seen our community as residential and have openly discouraged local business.

Well and good, perhaps, when gas was $2.00 a gallon. Now that gas has topped $4.00 and is headed toward $5.00, we need local business to employ at least one spouse in every young family, saving the long, tedious and expensive commute to the Twin Cities.

We can build a stronger and better community. We have a unique opportunity to change the future of Chisago County for the better, without increasing taxes.

Commissioners Gustafson, Robinson and Schultz are up for reelection.

Chisago County deserves better representation than Gustafson, Robinson and Schultz have provided.

Commissioners who will work for the community at large, the people of Chisago County rather than their own personal interests and the special interests of the elite.

Get involved in this election, your future depends upon it. Force your candidate to take the “No Levy Increase” Pledge. Support those candidates who will think “outside the box” to build a better community without raising taxes.

You can help us spread the word. Please refer your friends to this website. If you can help with printing and mailing costs of this newspaper, we can get our message to all in Chisago County.

Please send what you can to South County Epitaph, P.O. Box 328, Chisago County, MN 55013.

You can do something about it!

Vote Glassel for Commissioner!

Free Heavy Metal Recycling

Free Heavy Metal Recycling

Free Pick Up of Junk is available in Shafer, Center City,Lindstrom, Chisago City, Wyoming, Forest Lake, North Branch, Stacy, Hugo, White Bear Lake, Stillwater, Somerset, Hudson, Twin Cities, Centerville, Lino Lakes, Mahtomedi, St. Paul, North Metro, Minneapolis, MN, MinnesotaEast Farmington, Osceola, WI,

Free Heavy Metal Recycling
Free Pickup of Your Heavy Metal

We gladly accept the following running, repairable or junk items at absolutely no cost to you!
If your junk items are mostly metal, we can recycle it at no cost to you!

Free Outdoor Power Equipment Recycling

Riding Lawnmowers Walk Behind Lawnmowers Snow blowers
Snowmobiles Chainsaws Weed Trimmers
Bicycles ATV’s Motorcycles
Roto Tillers Power Tools Jet Skis

Free Appliance Recycling

Washers Dryers Dishwashers
Furnaces Water Heaters Microwave Ovens
Air Conditioners Humidifiers Commercial Refrigeration
Sorry, we cannot accept refrigerators or freezers at this time

Free Scrap Metal Recycling

Restaurant Equipment Electric Motors Automotive Batteries
Farm Equipment Junk Cars Electrical Cords
Stainless Steel Sheet Metal Metal Car Parts
Small Engines Aluminum Copper
Motors Transmissions Outboard Motors

Free Gas Grill Recycling
Free Towing of Your Junk Car
Open Monday thru Saturday from 10:00 AM to 6PM
Open Sunday from Noon til 5:00PM

Located in the SW Corner of the Old Lumberyard on US Highway 61
And CR 14 in Beautiful Downtown Hugo, MN

612-272-9535
After Hours please call 715-294-1675