Lone Recycler--Episode Eight

Episode Eight

And it came to pass, that in the fifteenth year of the reign of King Gustaf of Teflon, a certain man who did winneth the bread came unto his home and finding a woman there, spake unto the woman, “Woman, from wence hast thou comest?”

And the woman said unto the man, “Dearest husband, thou hast been forced to work so long and hard to pay homage unto the King and tribute to Darth Garbage, thou hast forgotten me.

The King did pisseth off MOAT (Mother of All Things) and MOAT did causeth the King Gustaf to be infested with Cooties, Cooties of the Crotch.

No one will come forth and kiss the King’s rosy, red and royal buttocks for fear of catching Cooties and the King taketh not money from us.

Now that thee workest not all the time, thou hath once again noticed me.”

In those days the spouses celebrated their wedded bliss with the Rites of Marital Poon-Tang (Romp).

And the spouses did Rompeth, one with another and the spouses did Rompeth in the wood and the spouses did Rompeth in the meadow and the spouses did Rompeth in the backseat of their chariot as in days of old.

And the man was happy to find that he was with spouse.

And a certain woman who did winneth the bread, upon seeing her house husband sayeth unto him, “Man, from wence hast thou comest?”

And the man sayeth, “Dearest wife, thou hast been forced to work so long and hard to pay homage unto the King and tribute to Darth Garbage, thou hast forgotten me.

The King did pisseth off MOAT (Mother of All Things) and MOAT did causeth the King to be infested with Cooties, Cooties of the Crotch.

No one will come forth and kiss the King’s rosy, red and royal buttocks for fear of catching Cooties and the King taketh not money from us and now that thee workest not all the time, thou has once again noticed me.”

And the spouses did Rompeth, one with another and the spouses did Rompeth in the wood and the spouses did Rompeth in the meadow and the spouses did Rompeth in the backseat of their chariot as in days of old.

And the woman was happy to find that she was with spouse.

And it came to pass that a certain man and a certain woman who both winneth the bread did cometh unto their house and finding children there, did inquireth of the children, “From wence hast thou cometh?”

And the male heir did respond and sayeth, “Dearest Parental Units, thou hast been forced to work so long and hard to pay homage unto the King and tribute to Darth Garbage, thou hast forgotten us.

We have been with the Sitter of Babies these many years.

Or the female heir would say, “Dearest Parental Units, thou hast been forced to work so long and hard to pay homage unto the King and tribute to Darth Garbage, thou hast forgotten us.

We have been with our Grand Parental Units these many years.”

And the Spouses were happy to be with family.

And the spouses did Rompeth, one with another and the spouses did Rompeth in the wood and the spouses did Rompeth in the meadow and the spouses did Rompeth in the backseat of their chariot as in days of old.

And when a friend of the male heir did sayeth unto him, “Come, let us partake of this whacky weed.”

The male heir would say, “Nay, nay, nay I don’t smoke it no more, I’m tired of waking up on the floor.”

And the male heir continued, “Now that the King taketh not money from my Parental Units and my Parental Units no longer work their fingers to the bone, they take pleasure in my company.

Tonight we are watching a special report about Heavenly Heating and we have vowed to help the Recycler save the world.”

And when a friend of the female heir would say, “Come, let us baketh some Meth, rotteth our teeth and causeth great consternation and worry to our Parental Units,” the female heir would say, “Nay, nay, nay.

Tonight my family is going to see a Gal Ore’s new PowerPoint presentation, A Truth of Inconvenience. My family has vowed to help the Recycler save Heaven, as one day, my heir’s will inherit this beautiful planet. Indeed, my family has become non-dysfunctional.”

And after their nightly Romp, the Spouses would talk upon their pillows, for in Heaven the man falleth not asleep after Poon-Tang (Sex).

And the Spouse would sayeth, “Now that we worketh not to pay tribute to the King and Darth Garbage, we can see what a wonderful world is Heaven.

We must help the Recycler save this Planet for our children and their children.

We should support the Recycler and force the evil King Gustaf to abdicate.”

And the King was sore afraid.

Glassel for Commissioner
Meth Kills and Ruins Lives, Stamp it Out