Episode Ten
In those days, the Sheriff of Toddingham desireth to build a new dungeon and needeth support from the Duke and the King to build this new dungeon.
Like all politicians, the Sheriff of Toddingham sought immortality by having his name indelibly inscribed on the cornerstone of the new dungeon for all of eternity.
In those days, the King's Magistrate was Rudge Roody and Rudge Roody did decree that the Recycler from the Land of Political Naivety appear before him in the King's Court.
And Rudge Roody sayeth unto the Recycler, "Thou mayest not call this man from the land of Schmuck, a Schmuck.
Indeed, our King is from the Land of Schmuck, The Duke of Rum is from the Land of Schmuck, the King's Prosecutor, Katherine the Confused, is from the Land of Schmuck and I, too, am from that very land."
And Rudge Roody did set about to incarcerate our Hero.
But just in the nick of time, Barrister Prodi of Jewel did donneth the tights and cape of a Super Heroine and did cometh forth to save the Recycler from the evil Rudge Roody.
Barrister Prodi of Jewel sayeth unto Rudge Roody, "Thou mayest not incarcerate the Recycler of Naive, for Thou hast not the power," and a great battle did ensueth with Prodi of Jewel striking Rudge Roody about the head and shoulders parts with the Law of the Land and our Hero was released from the custody of the evil King and his evil Magistrate.
But Rudge Roody voweth revenge on all who seeketh to do good and did donneth the mask, tights and cape of a Super Villain, and became the Dreaded Judge Buttholio.
In those days, the male heirs of the town would form a pack and walk about the Village of Strom striking sticks together to ward away the evil spirits. And these youngsters were known as Club Scouts.
And the Club Scouts did set about to do good deeds for all the people of the Village of Strom.
And as a Club Scout was about to help 87 year old Elderly School Marm across the street, a shadowy figure emerged from the dark and spake, "'Tis I, the Dreaded Judge Buttholio. Club Scout, dost thou have a license to do good deeds?”
"Nay, Nay, Nay," sayeth the Club Scout, "I was just helping Elderly School Marm across the street.
I needeth not a license to do good deeds for the Club Scouts are protected by Grandfather Clause."
And Elderly School Marm sayeth unto Dreaded Judge Buttholio, "Thou lookest familiar. I have taught every Fifth Grader in South County for the last 60 years. Thou lookest like Rudge Roody!"
"Nay, nay, nay," sayeth Dreaded Judge Buttholio, "Rudge Roody is a wimp. I looketh not like Rudge Roody! Shut thy mouth or I will surely incarcerate thee, Old Hag!"
Undeterred, Elderly School Marm continued, "Thy mouth looketh like a sphincter muscle, Thou hast anus breath, thine eyes look like two drooping hemorrhoids.
Even through thy Speedo mask, I can see thy nose has been circumcised. Truly thou art Rudge Roody.”
Elderly School Marm explained further to the young Club Scout, “Sad story, Rudge Roody. He was so butt ugly at birth, the doctor couldn't tell one end from the other and circumcised his nose by mistake. Truly, that kid falleth from the ugly tree and did striketh every branch on the way down.
He was known as Dick Gnose in those days.
The school children teased him unmercifully. But that kid could launch a booger! When he sneezed, the whole class would duck. Dick Gnose (Rudge Roody) could hit the blackboard from the back row.
Elderly School Marm continued, “Eventually Dick Gnose was drafted into the King’s Army, where he won several medals for his service as a battering ram. The King then sent him to baiting school. After many years as an apprentice, Dick Gnose became a Master Baiter, often Master Baiting the King’s own hook.
The King rewarded Dick Gnose by sending him to Law School where he becometh Rudge Roody. And now, the judicious Master Baiter, Rudge Roody becometh the Super Villain, The Dreaded Judge Buttholio.”
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