Lone Recycler--Episode Six

Episode Six

And the Duke of Rum did woo-eth the Patsy of Charles, and spake unto her “Your eyes, your eyes………..,”

“Yes, Yes….” Sayeth the Patsy, with great anticipation.

“Your eyes, your eyes are like two piss holes in a snow bank.”

And the Patsy of Charles did giveth the Peasant’s Landfill to Darth Garbage and a great ceremony to honor the event was to be held at The Great Hall of Royal Buttock Kissing (GHORBK).

The Oracle did commandeth the Recycler of Political Naivety to attend the ceremony and did speaketh unto the Recycler, “Fearest not, Weed Hopper for I will speak for thee.

Takest this staff of recycled aluminum into which I have reincarnated the soul of thy long dead, oversexed and hyperactive Terrier, Benny of Yorkshire.”

And the Recyler did go onto the ceremony and did carry his staff with him.

The Duke did enter the Great Hall with two twelve packs of beer under each arm. The Duke of Rum was “with spirits” and did sayeth to the masses assembled there, “I just flew in from Rush Schitti and boy, are my arms tired,” and he did taketh his seat at the Royal Tribunal to the immediate right of King Gustaf. And the Patsy of Charles did sitteth at the King’s left hand.

As adversaries of the King, Dubolee did sitteth on the right hand of the Duke, far removed from the King and the Barrister of Integrity did sitteth at the left hand of the Patsy, far removed from the King.

And the Duke of Rum did lifteth the left cheek of his obese buttocks and did breaketh wind with violent veracity and the Great Hall fairly shook from the eruption.

In Heaven, most men and all politicians are great methane producers, but none were greater than the Duke, which was known to the King.

The Duke, seeking to blame someone else for the disruption, did looketh at Dubolee who sitteth next to him and sayeth unto Dubolee, “Shame be upon thee, for thou hast farted before the King.”

And the Great Hall did become deathly quiet.

And all in the Great Hall did looketh at Dubolee and did whisper amongst themselves and did say one to another, “Dubolee farteth before the King.”

Sir John of Bullwinkle, the King’s Administrator did nudgeth with his elbow the King’s Proscector, Katherine of Confusion who had slept through the entire episode.

And Bullwinkle spake to The Katherine of the current Parliamentary Predicament.

And The Katherine did open her copy of King’s Rules And Parliamentary Procedures (KRAPP).

And The Katherine did speak, “The Duke of Rum is correct, the King must be allowed to fart first, then the Duke may fart. Dubolee may fart only after The Patsy has farted. Dubolee mayest not fart before the King.

As prescribed by KRAPP, the King may order Dubolee’s testicles to be stretched.”

And the King sayeth unto Bullwinkle, “Bring forth the Royal Testicle Stretcher (RTS).”

And Bullwinkle did bring forth the Royal Testicle Stretcher and did commence to stretch Dubolee’s testicles.

And when Dubolee’s testicles did reacheth his knees, Bullwinkle did releaseth the suction cups that holdeth Dubolee’s testicles and Dubolee’s testicles reboundeth with great veracity and did ricochet about in Dubolee’s scrotum.

Thereafter, on certain days, Dubolee’s left testicle was where his right testicle should be and on other days, his right testicle was where his left testicle should be, and on many days Dubolee findeth not his testicles at all.

Henceforth, Dubolee was known as “180” Dubolee.

And the Duke did asketh the King in a whisper, “Do farts have lumps?”